The Former Traveling Spotlight

The tales of a "30" something gay former stand-up comic living in NYC who is searching for his soul mate or soul...which ever comes first.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Bonfire of the Vanities

They say that fat people are jovial, and if you had been with me at the surgeon's office on Monday, you might have made the same observation. His waiting room was full of potential patients from the moment I arrived, all of who apparently knew each other.

This doctor, who happens to be a leader in obesity surgery, requires that all of his obese patients go through several steps before they can ever meet with him. Group information sessions, proven attempts at "Weight Watcher's" styled programs, group therapy sessions and private psychotherapy sessions, and nutritionist meetings are all required of them. They've all become friends in the waiting rooms of some of the finest offices in New York City.

A woman who was sitting on my right asked me when I had had my bypass surgery. I looked at her with an ice cold stare, and snipped "Eight months ago when I got on the treadmill". Not one of my nicest moments, but my anxiety level is extremely high about this whole procedure I'm going to have to go through, and having someone ask me that was a wrong move. Karma is going to bite me on the ass now and I'm going to put on 50 lbs after the surgery.

The door opens and the woman eating a Big Mac in the outside hallway finally comes in. "Denise!!!!" a fellow patient shrieks and a chorus of "hello" is followed by everyone. She gives hugs hello and takes the extra wide seat to my left. I felt left out, except I'd rather not have to get morbidly obese just to feel welcome.

Another woman came out of the office door in tears. The other women got up and began to console her, while a nurse gave her the horrible news. Her insurance didn't approve her surgery because she wasn't fat enough. She was given the advice to go out to eat and binge for a few weeks and she would then qualify. The nurse actually told her to gain weight and come back. Ethically not the greatest of advice.

For such jovial people, I saw one thing though. They were all full of hate. They all hated their obesity problem, and worse themselves for not being able to manage their weight. Mostly though, they hate the way the society has determined that they are less of a person for being the size of two persons. They hated their fat.

I wonder what these people would say if they knew that the hate never goes away. More importantly...I wonder if I can find a plastic surgeon to give me a liposuction while I'm undergoing this thoracic surgery. I've got some love handles and a gut I'd love to get rid of.

Patrick - 10:24 AM -

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