The Former Traveling Spotlight

The tales of a "30" something gay former stand-up comic living in NYC who is searching for his soul mate or soul...which ever comes first.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Grand Canyon

You ever have one of those "friends". You know the one. The friend you tell others about because you really don't want to admit that the "friend" you are talking about is really yourself.

Well I have this friend who's been "sort of seeing" someone here and there. It's not serious, and really...he knows it's never going to go anywhere, but for the time he was just enjoying the other guy's company. But a significant problem has started to become an issue. Now yes..."my friend" knows that the other guy likes him a hell of a lot more than "my friend" likes him. Surprisingly, this isn't the problem.

The problem is a bit more physical. You see...the guy "my friend" is spending time with is what the gay community would categorize a "power bottom". Normally, I wouldn't see the problem with this, as "my friend" is a top, but the issue does involve compatibility. Apparently, this power bottom uses toys on a regular basis. Very large toys. One of them being 18 x 7. Yes...7" around.

Besides the fact that "my friend" could get a complex when comparing himself to the latex competition, "my friend" has described sex as throwing a hot dog into a wind tunnel. When the wind blows, you can hear the distinct sound of a fog horn coming from this power bottom's ass. Staying power is not proving to be a problem for "my friend". Hell...at the rate he's going, he could probably move in and call it an apartment.

Thus, "my friend" needs to end it. Tactfully. How does one say, "It's not me...it's you."

Patrick - 3:17 PM -

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