The Former Traveling Spotlight
The tales of a "30" something gay former stand-up comic living in NYC who is searching for his soul mate or soul...which ever comes first.
Original content© Patrick Doyle 2003-2017 all rights reserved
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Monday, September 18, 2006
Manufacturer Defects
With only a few days left before I get physically scarred for life (there goes my chance at being a chest model), I'm in the process of preparing for surgical recovery. The house is cleaned, the air mattress is moved to the living room (so I don't have to climb stairs), and I've sent all my laundry out for pickup on Wednesday. However I still needed one object.
Yesterday, I bought a blender. As of Friday night, I had to switch to a liquid diet. Thus breakfast and lunch today consisted of a freshly heated cup of coffee. Tonight? A smoothie for dinner. So satisfying I could just beat my head in.
Unpacking the most expensive item in my kitchen, I stared at what I perceive to be a useless waste of counter space and read over the instructions and manual. It's a good thing to know that the manufacturer guarantees against defects. And that's what set me off.
Somehow, thanks to the genetics of my family, or the upbringing, or whatever else it is, I'm defective. I've got a manufacture defect and surgery can help, but nothing will ever completely fix the problem. I'll always be "defective", and it makes me a little angry.
Where's my manufacturer's warranty? Why can't I send back a body part for a new one?
Not that I don't count my blessings for still being alive, but I'm tired of it all. I'm tired of drinking 13 liters of water to get my food to my stomach, or having to stop eating in restaurants when I'm out of water, or having to know the exact location of every public restroom at my destination due to how much water I drink. I said a long time ago, I'd do nearly anything to be able to eat a meal without having to drink anything. Unfortunately...it's not in my future.
Anyway...my immediate future involves drinking my dinner.
Let me leave this on a more pleasant note. Food consumption consists of necessary items for health. Carbohydrates, fat, and protein. I figure I can get carbohydrates from pureed fruits, and fat from mixing a little ice cream into the blender.
I wonder where I can get a little liquid protein?
Patrick - 9:24 AM
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