The Former Traveling Spotlight
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Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Oh Baby!
People call them "bundles of joy". Ain't it cute? 
A woman who has that paternal instinct pumping in her blood will squeal in delight when seeing a new rugrat. I've even heard some swear that the "baby smell" is so wonderful!
***blank stare***
The smell of puke, crap, and baby powder is good? Uh...I'll pass.
Maybe it's just me, but rarely do I get those feelings when I see a small baby. Usually when I see an infant, they look more like this,
and always when I'm about to get on a plane. Yes babies cry when tired, scared, hungry, or even when they're just pissed off that the Yankees are out of the playoffs. But the number one reason babies cry so much, has nothing to do with any of those reasons.
It's the food. Seriously, I should know. I've been eating it now for 4 weeks as my closest form of solid food. What the fuck are parents feeding their kids? Chicken mixed with sweet potatoes and apples (all pureed into one jar!)? Have you ever tasted that mixture? I would think not. So why would you give it to a person who doesn't have the ability to tell you how bad that shit tastes!
Baby food in general tastes like crap! Obviously the reason babies puke so much. Even the fruit purees have a weird after taste, and the meat...well the meat smells like canned dog food. In fact, had I known that it smelled like that in the past, I would have given it to my dog when she was alive, as the baby food is way cheaper.
For those of you who want to be parents...I suggest this. Before you feed your baby any of that food, eat a jar yourself. If you can eat it, not retch, and still smile afterwards, your baby deserves a taste.
Me personally? I've given up on the baby food, and just stuck to Ensure and pureed soups. I'd rather starve than ever tried the Turkey, Gravy, Sweet Potatoes, Green Bean mixture again.
Patrick - 2:25 PM
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