The Former Traveling Spotlight

The tales of a "30" something gay former stand-up comic living in NYC who is searching for his soul mate or soul...which ever comes first.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Sticks and Stones

A few years ago, I thought I had heard the worst insult to ever come my way.

A guy (who I really had no interest in) came up to me and leaned against the pool table as he looked me up and down. He then cleared his throat, looked me in the eye and said "I just want you to know that looks don't matter to me".

***blank stare***

Sadly, he thought he was being genuine. Rarely am I speechless, but that moment was one where I couldn't even think of a snarky comment.

It doesn't get much worse, or so I thought. Earlier this month, I was at the Gay Community Center for FARB's book reading. While during the reception, I was speaking to a group of people. The one guy looked at me and said:
"Wow. Now that I took my glasses off, you're much cuter."

***Blank Stare***

Apparently I'm a Monet. Better looking when blurry.

Once again, I was left a little speechless, but this past Monday, I was asked by the management of the restaurant how I was doing health wise. Her exact words were: "How are you feeling? You look like you've gained a little weight."

Huh. So now I look fat and blurry. If you excuse me...I'm going to find a plastic surgeon that has discount rates for multiple surgeries.

Patrick - 4:12 PM -

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