The Former Traveling Spotlight

The tales of a "30" something gay former stand-up comic living in NYC who is searching for his soul mate or soul...which ever comes first.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Is Bigger Better?

During business school, I was assigned to a group to create a global marketing plan for Owens Corning Corporation (yeah...the pink insulation company). We presented our plan 4 months later to the Board of Directors, and chose a woman to do the presentation. She was currently the director of Human Resources for a public utility company, and one of our more confident speakers.

She stepped up in front of the chairmen, the CEO, the CFO, and all the other male dominated corporate officers and smiled calmly while assessing them all. Most of the executives weren't even looking at her, and we could tell this was a difficult sell to a group of people that didn't care what we had to say. She started out her speech by saying one thing:

"Gentlemen...I'm here to dispel a myth for you. Size really does matter." She had the attention of every man in the audience. Most of us in the group were picking up our jaws off of the floor. She was talking about size of business...but her words have stuck with me.

******

Last Saturday, a friend and I met at Splash bar for a night out (read: drinking and dancing until 6:00 am). Several of the hired dancers who are generously endowed started swinging our conversation to what was at times nearly flopping into our hands (my attitude is if you put it in my hands...I own it). I don't remember who brought it up, but we started discussing size preferences.

Other people who were listening to our conversation (and I'm a little surprised how many see that the music was loud) started to join in. Yes, we all know of size queens who aren't happy unless they are getting split in 1/2 with something that dwarfs a small dog, but for the rest of us out there...what constitutes the right fit?

Every married woman knows that the correct answer is "exactly the size of my husband", regardless if this is the case or not. Preserving the sanctity of marriage is important. But for those of us who are single, and who've had what could be described as a "baker's dozen" of partners (or in the case of some of you...a dozen baker's dozen), what's the answer?

For the few of us that were discussing, we all could describe in detail the most endowed men, but were they the best, or really just so freakishly large that we couldn't get over the shadow it cast in morning sun? Yet none of us wanted to say that size mattered. So did it?

Sort of. Those who were blessed with either a king kong or a wine cork are memorable...but the one's that fell between...well...do you remember every restaurant you've eaten at? Does that mean you didn't like eating there?

Thus the age old question still remains? Does size really matter?

Patrick - 1:02 PM -

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