The Former Traveling Spotlight

The tales of a "30" something gay former stand-up comic living in NYC who is searching for his soul mate or soul...which ever comes first.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Drooling Lawyers

Can you spot the odd item in this grouping?

A group of men are sitting having lunch together. A lawyer, a surgeon, an anesthesiologist, an investment banker, a plastic surgeon, a second anesthesiologist, and an executive assistant. Yes...I felt like I was sitting at the wrong end of that table.

But I was stuck there, in all my inadequacies listening to these doctors and lawyers talk about their lives and careers. Listening to the stories of the surgeons, I realized something. I'm never going to a doctor again. Or if I have to...I'm bringing a witness.

I asked the doctors if they ever took a look under the hospital gown once the patient was sedated. All four doctors admitted to looking under the gown when the patient didn't know it (and yes...a penis will get erect while a patient is in surgery). Could this be why they demand you not wear underwear while going for hand surgery? You run the risk of stretching out the fabric?

But here is the one thing that made me ill to my stomach. The anesthesiologist told us a story about one of his first surgeries during his first year of residency. The patient had been given a level 2 sedation (meaning the patient was asleep, and not feeling pain, but didn't need an air tube to keep breathing). As the surgery was nearing completion, the attending physician (the resident's supervisor) injected a drug into the IV of the patient. This drug causes immediate paralysis of the patient (including the ability to breathe). The resident anesthesiologist is then surprised by the event and has to insert a breathing tube into the patient. Once the breathing tube is inserted, the attending pushes another drug and the patient is brought back out of paralysis.

This attending physician does this to all of her residents as a way of teaching them. The patient is never made aware of the situation, and the drug is not listed in the patient's chart.

I was completely pale after hearing this, and will never trust another teaching hospital again. This is the kind of thing that could make a malpractice lawyer drool.

The next time you go into surgery, and you feel the familiar soreness of having just had sex...really look your doctor in the eye, and ask him, "was it as good for me as it was for you?"

Patrick - 3:19 PM -

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