The Former Traveling Spotlight

The tales of a "30" something gay former stand-up comic living in NYC who is searching for his soul mate or soul...which ever comes first.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Recovery

I'm rubber and you're glue,
My heart bounced on the floor and stuck on you.

Most anyone can agree that relationships are difficult, but ending relationships is so much worse. Regardless if you are the person being broken up with, or the person doing the breaking...it just sucks. In the past few months, I've seen three people I know suffer the tragedy of their relationships ending. And for each of them, I along with the rest of their friends were on hand to help them pick up the pieces and try to move on. But what exactly is the best way to move on?

Advice column after advice column tells you that you are supposed to go out and do all the things that you enjoy as a way of moving on, but what happens when everything you do reminds you of the person you are trying to get over? For instance, a restaurant in town here has a "themed bathrooms". The one bathroom plays music that just happens to be music a friend and his ex "shared" one evening over dinner. He came out of the bathroom depressed.

How can I...forget you girl,
When there is always something there to remind me.

How is a gay boy supposed to do to get over a heartbreak? In my case, I've found the best way to get over someone is to get over someone else as soon as possible. Walk into a bar where nobody really knows you and look available. Someone will take up the initiative and make a move, and if they don't...take matters into your own hands and make a move on somebody. Although it's best if I don't drink too much as my standards drop significantly. Hell, I just need someone to smile at me and he's getting lucky. I have learned to use a fake name. Currently I use Rob Byrnes. My three friends however, each mend their own hearts in very different ways.

Friend A, retreated into his own world. He stayed in his apartment (prison) and loaded up his I-tunes with nothing but sad music. He actually purchased "Endless Love" and unfortunately, after a night of drinking a bottle of wine by himself, drunk dialed the son of a bitch that broke his heart. Only to leave him a drunken voicemail. This was his biggest mistake. Always remain with your friends. Friends won't let friends drunk dial their ex's, but since he decided to wallow in his own self pity...he now has to live with calling him and making a fool of himself. Two months later, he's started to venture out into the big world of cruelty I call the single life.

Friend B, took the advice of the "professionals" and decided to surround himself in the things that he loved most. Unfortunately for those of us who care for him, his favorite hobby is cooking. After gaining nearly 5 pounds eating homemade eggnog, enchilada tortilla soup, and home made ice cream, I had to put a stop to the buffet at least for my part. I'd like to remain a size 31 waist. My friend continued to cook like a madman, until he couldn't fit into his clothes very well. Rather than buy new clothes, he finally hit the gym again.

Friend C decided the best way to get over his man was to look like he never needed him in the first place. He took his credit cards and started in lower manhattan and worked his way north, spending two months rent (yes...$3500) on new clothes, cologne, haircut and personal products. He called it a personal emergency. It's going to take him a year to pay all that off.

After writing all this out, I find myself wondering, is it worth it in the first place? Should we still be risking our hearts, or just stay single and learn to love it?

Patrick - 2:25 PM -

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