The Former Traveling Spotlight

The tales of a "30" something gay former stand-up comic living in NYC who is searching for his soul mate or soul...which ever comes first.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

What I Did for Love!

Love...that four letter word we strive for, that hopefully leads to other four letter words like "dick", "suck", and "fuck". Those special happy words.

I've done some crazy things when I felt the intoxication of love, things I've not always been proud of. I'm made compromises I normally wouldn't, and forgiven transgressions I usually can't (did he actually take the mail into the bathroom?). But yesterday...I sank to a new low.

I tried online personals...all for love. In this case...I love skiing, and the gay skiing organization was giving away a free ski trip at an event last night. A "last minute Valentine's" event sponsored by an online personals website. Are you cringing? You should be. This site markets itself as a "relationship" oriented site.

Every 30 minutes, the announcer would get on the microphone and tell us how wonderful we were to come to this event, and that we were worthy of "healthy, long-lasting, monogamous, loving relationships that can lead to marriage! Relationships that are not based on sex!" I feel so validated...thanks for letting me know it's possible. But I like sex. A lot. Like several times a night please.

While talking with the owner of the site, he explained that gay men are too sex focused. He recommended getting into a relationship before having sex, and that perplexes me. People test drive cards before purchasing, and they only last 10 years. Why wouldn't you take a ride on a prospective boyfriend seeing that potentially it could be a lifelong commitment? I was about to ask the owner this specifically, but the announcer was once again looking to validate us.

"Look around the room at all these attractive single men!" I looked around the room, but all I saw was Valentine's Day desperation. Men so determined to be "in love" that they didn't even care about who it was with anymore. The most interesting man I found in the room was the photographer, who happens to be a personal trainer and massage therapist as well. And he was "straight". Yes I put that in quotes. How many straight male massage therapist/ personal trainers with faux hawks do you know? I debated asking this guy if he wanted to cut out and go back to his place while the announcer once again validated us all for looking for love. Yeah...whatever...nothing says "love" like a personal trainer's ankles on my shoulders, and even straight guys like blow jobs.

The night continued to drone on...and I only stuck around because I wanted the freaking ski trip. I was going to get it...even if it meant screwing the guy who actually won it. And believe me...that would have been work. If I haven't mentioned it before...I love skiing.

By 11pm...they were finally doing the drawing, and thankfully...they pulled my name, and it only took my wishing I had committed suicide to get the trip.

I so freaking earned this.

Patrick - 1:50 PM -

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