The Former Traveling Spotlight

The tales of a "30" something gay former stand-up comic living in NYC who is searching for his soul mate or soul...which ever comes first.

Monday, March 19, 2007

With This Kiss

Looking at this photo makes me just a little warm inside. And seriously...who doesn't think puppies are cute. Even if you aren't a dog person, you still can't help but smile a little. And really...who doesn't like puppy kisses? That is...as long as the puppy hasn't been eating something nasty!



Kissing is a powerful display of affection. From the day we are kids, our relatives kissed us to show their affection (and sometimes traumatized us if they were my Great Aunt Eleanor and her "wet kisses of death"). Kisses were used to heal minor injuries and they were the finale of how we said good night. A day without a kiss...well it's unheard of. And children unashamed, will kiss without prejudice, without pretense, and without anything more than the love they carry.

But then kids hit puberty.



Suddenly, kissing is something reserved for someone you're attracted to. Who doesn't remember their first kiss? (Jackie...no...it's not your fault I'm gay now.) Hearts pounding, sweaty palms, and the awkwardness of learning to convey passion, affection, and interest, without slobbering all over the recipient's face. Oh...and watch out for the braces, they can get locked together. It's a rite of passage, and we've all gone through it.

***Side note...if you haven't yet gone through this rite of passage, you are likely too young to be reading this site and should perhaps surf Google for something more age appropriate.***

In the straight world, it hopefully all leads to one thing.

A strong prenuptial agreement. Or at least a good alimony settlement in the event of a divorce.

For those of us in the gay world...well things become more subvert. A lot of us don't even get a first kiss until much later (I luckily was not one of those men).

***

Yesterday I had a first date. Now I'm breaking my cardinal rule by discussing it here, but you'll see why shortly. We had the usual chit-chat that all first dates are about. Where did you grow up? What do you do for a living? Brothers and sisters? Coming out...etc.

Post date, we walked along the Upper West Side of New York (dodging baby strollers) as we made our way to the bus stop on 86th and CPW. At that bus stop, with a line of 15 people, we had the awkward "how do we end this date moment". You know the moment. Do you kiss, do you shake hands, do you give a hug. My date took charge and made his intentions known by going in for the kiss.

I can respect that, and we were enjoying the moment. A kiss longer than the healing kiss of a boo-boo but by no means any longer than a wedding kiss. The kind of kiss that would say that yes...these two guys aren't European. And that, my friends was when it happened. The woman waiting for the bus said "Not in public guys".

Now in all the pictures I previously posted here, all of them were taken in public. Yet my kiss is the one that should be judged?

Back in my protesting, not caring if I was arrested days, I used to own a t-shirt that stated, "Every kiss is a revolution." In the late 80's, it was true. Gays kissing in public could cause a bashing. But over 20 years, especially in NYC, things have changed. Gay couples hold hands in public, and kiss hello and goodbye. At least I thought so. In Ohio, things may be a bit more conservative, but even there, I would have not given a fuck about what someone else said.

Yesterday I was in my neighborhood and some woman who's taking a bus to the Upper East Side is offended by my minor display of affection? It's mother fucking 2007! You see worse on Cinemax on Saturday late nights, Janet Jackson's tit on the Superbowl, and more bed activity during a soap opera, and my kiss is the one over the top? Fuck you bitch!

So while holding his face with my left hand, I lowered all my fingers, except for the middle one, while I went for tongue. Yes...I tongue kissed the guy on the first date (which is really mild compared to some of the other things I've done on first dates), but still made my point.

Yes, I may not be on the battle grounds as much as I was in my 20's, but I'm still willing to fight for my rights. And if that means I want to kiss a man good bye, I'll do so, and if you or anyone else doesn't like it...you can just kiss my gay ass.

Viva la resistance!

Patrick - 11:25 AM -

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