The Former Traveling Spotlight

The tales of a "30" something gay former stand-up comic living in NYC who is searching for his soul mate or soul...which ever comes first.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Rejected

Back when I was straight (shut up in the back row...I *did* try for a while in my early teens), my best friend and I went to an activities center where we hung out the entire day with other kids our age. Mostly kids in the 12 to 15 range. You remember the age. Old enough to be interested in having sex, not old enough to drive and with skin that resembled and astronomical map. Complete with a North Star Zit sitting right on the end of your nose.

At the end of the day, we were all at the teen dance. Yes...I was awkward, and most of the guys I knew were already "pairing off" with other girls, leaving me to feel even more insecure in my alone status. My friend gave me the advice of "just go up and talk to one of them." Not the best of advice seeing I was gay, but hey...I was only 12...I couldn't offer to pay them for sex buy them a drink. So I started an awkward conversation. Something on the lines of complementing her shoe laces or something equally as awful.

Of course I was shot down, humiliated, and wishing for death. I slowly walked my way back to where my friend stood. Seeing my face, my friend who was my elder by a whole two years said "It gets easier getting turned down."

Truth be told, he lied. It never gets easy hearing the phrase "I like you and all, but..."(fill in the blank here), and but the difference is that once you reach a certain age, we're not supposed to be disappointed anymore. Suddenly it's become about saving face. Decorum says to acting breezy after getting shot down, or pretend to not be upset when you never get that phone call. It's become a situation where you etiquette requires you to say "Well, at least we can be friends" when what you really want to say is "Fuck you...I have enough friends."

So the big question is, does etiquette have a proper way of saying "So I guess a blow job is out of the question?"

Patrick - 3:28 PM -

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