The Former Traveling Spotlight

The tales of a "30" something gay former stand-up comic living in NYC who is searching for his soul mate or soul...which ever comes first.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Memory

I remember one night, while working in a bar, a boyfriend brought me a small bouquet of flowers. It was one of the sweetest moments, and I kept the flowers well past their prime, letting them dry out. They were a souvenir of that special moment, and I kept them for years.

My coworker told me he's kept a poem his first girlfriend had written him. In fact, he was still able to quote the poem that was written over 30 years ago. Love's got a way of bringing out the sappy in us. It's sweet and romantic, and something so many of us do. We hold onto a bit of that past. But what happens as we proceed into the future? How long do we hold onto those moments? When does it become time to bury the past?

This is the problem my friend is facing. After proceeding down the relationship trail, they are getting to the point of moving in together. To the point, where she's stayed overnight at his home, and unfortunately for her, found his souvenir of his first love. Not the usual love letter, or photos together, or even a dried up flower. Rather, what she found was much different. Her predecessor, and her boyfriend's first love, cut off her dreadlocks and gave them to her boyfriend as a remembrance. He has kept that matted piece of unclean hair on a shelf near his bed for over 6 years.

Imagine my friend, in the throws of coital bliss, looking to the sky and seeing some ratty piece of matted hair, similar to a cat hair ball, hovering on the shelf near her own head. Although we've never discussed it, I'm sure a climax or two may have been thwarted by that image.

6 years is a long time to hold onto a memory. Especially when it involves genetic material. Perhaps if it was a photograph, or a love letter, my friend would not be as judgemental as I am, but I wonder. If things don't work out between them, is he going to put her diaphram on the shelf next to the dreadlock as a memory of my friend?

Patrick - 1:33 PM -