The Former Traveling Spotlight

The tales of a "30" something gay former stand-up comic living in NYC who is searching for his soul mate or soul...which ever comes first.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Getting My Jewish On.

Growing up part Catholic and mostly Atheist, I never really understood the hold of religion, culture, and parents have on a being. Until I started dating my Ex, a Jewish man with a horrible family secret. Now every goyim who's ever dated a Jew knows what I'm talking about. Eventually, you have to face the Jewish mother and the guilt she can inflict. A litany of attacks that can leave a mere Catholic quivering in the dust of her wake, I learned from the woman. Today, I'm going to try out what I learned.

*****

On Friday last week, Jason called to tell me he'd like me to attend a special event. His birthday was yesterday, and he wanted to have a special dinner with his immediate family and friends. The people who really meant something to him. Of course I planned on attending. In my life, your friends are your real family. Friends are the people who grab your cell phone and stop you from drunk dialing an ex. Friends are the people you turn to when all is lost. Friends are the ones who see you at your lowest and act like it isn't happening to let you save face.

Friends are always there for each other.

Thus, I, along with Jason's closest friends, nay his family, the people who care about him most, went to En Japanese Brasserie to celebrate his turning 27. Because, you only get one chance ever to celebrate a family member's 27th birthday.

I arrived at the restaurant for our 7pm reservation exactly on time, and greeted the birthday boy with a hug. Thankfully, I wasn't the last to arrive. The attendance list was as follows:

The birthday boy.

Jason's Roommate

Jason's Sister

Jason's Boyfriend

Jason's Friend Charles.

Actually, Charles hadn't shown up yet. Jason however insisted that he was probably on the subway, since he wasn't answering his phone and politely asked the hostess to hold our table until he arrived. Jason explained that one of his closest friends would never miss his birthday dinner.

By 7:30, the hostess informed us that we'd have to give up our table if we didn't take our seats, so we sat down and only ordered cocktails while waiting for Charles to arrive. It was apparent that it meant a lot to Jason to have Charles there. In fact, every time the front door of the restaurant opened, Jason would glance to the doorway, only to have that crushed look reappear on his face.

An hour late, Jason finally received a call from Charles. The look on his face was sad enough, but to hear Jason say the words "Charles decided he didn't want to come tonight. He said he had more important things to do." nearly broke our hearts. It was the tear in his eyes that really brought the mood of the table down. We decided to order food immediately...and make the best of a very sad situation. It's a terrible thing to have your closest friends break your heart.

Our first course was to share some tofu. Now had we had our original 6 people at the table, we'd have split 3 orders, giving each of us an appropriate sized appetizer. In this case, with only five of us, it would have been too hard to split the items equally. I volunteered to forgo this item, and we only ordered two tofu appetizers. I sat there in silence, while the other 4 people at what looked like a very tasty treat, which was soft enough that even I could swallow it. I didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable with my not eating, so I just stared at Charles' empty plate.

It was during our appetizer course that the light above our table had gone out. We considered asking for another table, but every time our server came over, he would ask if our 6th guest had arrived. This of course would cause an embarrassment at the table, so we decided to just sit in the dark. Alone. Without Charles.

By the end of the evening, things were finally beginning to look better. The dessert provided two surprises. First was ice cream for the entire table, with candles for the birthday to blow out. Jason looked at the dessert and made his wish. "I wish that Charles will find the time out of his busy schedule to possibly have dinner later this week, but only if he really wants to." And Jason blew out the candles. We can only hope that Charles hears this wish, and can take a few minutes out of his day to call him, just to say hello.

Now some of you may not know this, but Jason's boyfriend provided an extra special treat. He knew that Charles loved cupcakes, so he brought 6 of them to the dinner. However lately, Jason's boyfriend has been a little cash poor, so he struggled with the ultimate sacrifice. He went without breakfast or lunch for a week to pay for the cupcakes and his share of the dinner.

The cupcake with the little flower was for Charles, because he knew that Charles liked things floral. Poor Brian. Had Charles shown up, the cost of the meal would have been less...and more manageable for the rest of us. Luckily we all brought our credit cards.

We all said our goodbyes at the end of the meal. I looked at Jason and told him to not feel bad about Charles not showing. He smiled and said "It's OK. I'm just not as important to him as he is to me. At least I still have all of you."

You do Jason. You will always have us. ***wiping a tear from my eye***

Patrick - 12:50 PM -