The Former Traveling Spotlight

The tales of a "30" something gay former stand-up comic living in NYC who is searching for his soul mate or soul...which ever comes first.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

But

I went out on a date with a guy. Smart, successful, ambitious, has a job, attractive, even breathing...but...


I do this. I'm a fault finder. Within the first few dates, I can usually find some fault, something about a future mate that I don't like. It could be something miniscule like being a nail biter, or being an axe murder. Or...it could be something worse like smoking.

Usually, I try to look past whatever it is, seeing that I'm far from being fault free. Hell...I could easily list off 100's of faults that I have, but I won't. My self esteem is bad enough without enforcing it.

But as I think about this, I wonder. Aren't we supposed to want it all? If I can't have someone who's driven, passionate about what he does, enjoys a shared bottle of wine, is athletic, and just happens to be attractive then do I take second best? Should I settle for someone that is missing some of the qualities that I want? I've found men who've had the qualities I've wanted and our relationships have burned fairly hotly, for as long as they've lasted. Is it better to settle for second best?

He's nice and I like him...but...maybe all these "buts" are only making me into an ass.

Patrick - 3:46 PM -

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