The Former Traveling Spotlight

The tales of a "30" something gay former stand-up comic living in NYC who is searching for his soul mate or soul...which ever comes first.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Gay Men in the Mist

Yesterday night, I did something I've not done in a very long time. I went to a straight bar. Now this was not really my choice, but I was asked to check out a group of people that were meeting at this bar, and see if I was interested in joining in a ski house share (oh the pitfalls of dating someone who works ski patrol on the side).

Walking into this place, I immediately got the feeling I usually get in straight singles bars. The same feeling that straight men get when going to gay bars. The feeling that I don't belong.

The group of guys that were meeting there were 7 men, all in their late 20's and early 30's, and all very heterosexual. As in, when the waitress walked away, they all started commenting on how much they really wanted to "get a piece of that". (insert ogre like agreement here)

*shudder*

I left the bar, and called a friend and asked him why is it that I, like so many of my gay friends feel uncomfortable in straight bars? He answered it was the "lingering smell of vagina". Ok...he was joking, but he honestly wasn't able to answer it. I've even been hesitant to join my own alumni club because it's been primarily straight men in their late 20's swilling beer and cheering on their college football team.

I got home and thought about it more, I have to wonder...can straight men and gay men really be friends, without having a woman friend as a commonality? Why is there such a difference between the two, and why is it so rare to find a common ground?

I've been out as a gay man since I was 15 years old. I currently can't think of many straight men I actually know on more than just a work situation basis.


As for the ski house...I wonder how comfortable the rest of this 11 bedroom house would be if they knew 2 gay men were sharing a room in their midst?

Patrick - 10:46 AM -

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