The Former Traveling Spotlight

The tales of a "30" something gay former stand-up comic living in NYC who is searching for his soul mate or soul...which ever comes first.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Planners

As an Atheist, I really have come to not believe in a god. No all knowing, ever good, ball of light that is planning on dooming me for me sinning ways. No everlasting heaven, no dark tunnel with a bright white light. Just worms and decomposition. I'm fine with that.

Except

If I don't believe in heaven and and all good and loving deity, how can I believe in hell and an all evil creature. And unfortunately, I've met that all evil being. They are called Wedding Planners.

And last night, I had to wait on the classless bunch. A famous crystal manufacturer (it begins with a "S") holds a bridal showcase event each year at this time in Rockefeller Center. Bridal designers showcase their wedding gowns, cake companies sample their cakes, and different alcohol companies give their alcohol as ways to show you how much you can spend. And these wedding planners are the ones to prey upon the young women and convince them to overspend themselves into premarital debt.

We start with the venue. This prize piece of real estate is located at Rockefeller Center and diagonally across from St. Patrick's Cathedral (where you can get married if your Catholic). This is one of the smaller venues, with only 5000 sq feet of outdoor garden space. All for only a mere $50k rental. Staffing and catering are extra, so expect to pay $200 a person for the dinner you'll be serving.

Now no wedding would be complete without the wedding gown. This taffeta hand sewn pearls mass of clothing (which can weigh many many pounds) is placed on the bride in a fashion that will have her constantly fearful that she may spill something on it all evening. These wedding planners ate it up, and by far, the hottest dress was the Vivienne Westwood (which went for merely a half a million dollars)



But in the event that the parents are too cheap to pay that much for their daughter to look the most beautiful on "her special day", their are other alternatives, each running just under 100k.




Most importantly, every wedding isn't complete without making enough cake to feed the entire nation. While passing drinks last night, I overheard a planner speaking to the press about how he recommends as a wedding planner an average of 4 slices of cake per guest.



And people wonder why we are the fattest nation? 4 slices of cake per person? I had wedding cake last night for dinner, and I could barely get through 1 slice. (Granted, I can't swallow that easily...but come on!)

Now I fully know that the people attending this event book only large expensive weddings (with 2+million budgets), but the sentiment behind the planners is the same regardless of the budget. Spend as much as possible to have the "dream wedding".

Catering weddings used to depress me a little. In my lifetime, I never expect my family to gather together and toast my relationship to another man, and after seeing the ridiculous amounts that these planners are selling things at, I'm not sure I'd want to get married.

I'd rather just tell him "I love you...let's go eat", while my closest friends join us in a potluck than go through all of the pomp and circumstance.

But that means I'd have to say the "b-word" outloud...and that's not something I do very easily.

Patrick - 12:50 PM -

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