The Former Traveling Spotlight

The tales of a "30" something gay former stand-up comic living in NYC who is searching for his soul mate or soul...which ever comes first.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

With This Ring

An actual conversation I had back in May

Her: Patrick! Guess what? I'm pregnant!
Me: Wow!
Her: Guess What Else? I'm getting married!
Me: That's great!
Her: And Guess What else? You're performing the ceremony!
Me: What?

I have done some crazy ass things for my friends. I've housed them during breakups. Fed them when they were unemployed, and even offered to have sex with one who was going through a dry spell (I'm a giver). But becomeing a minister and finding Waldo...I mean Jesus (He's up on the hillside behind the merchants) has got to be one of the craziest things I've ever done. Yet 15 minutes and one online form later, I became a registered minister and leagaly allowed to marry anyone with a valid marriage license.

People always say we need to stop gay marriage, but I think what they actually meant was to stop gays from marrying. I have the power to really fuck up your lives. For instance, in the state of Colorado, all you have to do to be considered "common law married" is state you are a married couple. No forms, no license, and no minister needed. Just the two of you telling someone you are married. Look out catering crowd. Piss me off and *wham*...your married. Go file for a divorce!

For most of my adult life, I've been making a mockery of organized religion and suddenly I am now a part of it. I am a freaking reverend, and conisdered qualified to tell people to spend the rest of their lives together (like it or not). I'm barely qualified with my own relationship (how hard is it to say the "b-word"?).

That being said, I've noticed their is one good thing about being a reverend. Do you know how many guys want to role play priest/alter boy?

Now if you excuse me...I've got to give a certain man who is on his knees communion.

Patrick - 12:41 PM -

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