The Former Traveling Spotlight

The tales of a "30" something gay former stand-up comic living in NYC who is searching for his soul mate or soul...which ever comes first.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Compliments

Warning...there is a rant in here...but I rarely do this.

Last night, I worked as a waiter at a major insurance and retirement company. My table consisted of the Chairman and CEO of the company, as well as 6 additional board members for this company. For the most part, I treat these people like anyone else, but since I had the CEO, I was supposed to follow him around the entire evening, refreshing his drink at all times, or getting anything he needs even before he notices that he needs it. Basically...everything but wipe his ass for him...and even then...I'm sure the company would prefer I do it rather than he risk dirtying his hands.

It's an awful gig...but I'm very good at kissing ass. Thus, half way through the meal, he decided to pay me a compliment. It was a simple one.

"You're a great career waiter. I want you serving me all the time."

I stared out the 35th floor window and luckily noticed that they wouldn't open, or I would have launched myself off the building. I fully understand that in the professional world of my day job I am a nobody and my thoughts and opinions matter about as much as monkey poop. Belive me..it's pointed out to me often. But I did not go to college for as many years as I did to be considered a career waiter. I understand that you were trying to compliment me, but it's a fairly backhanded compliment. Like telling a prostitute that they give great head for being a hooker!

I work as a waiter to survive, because CEO's like you have fucked up this god damned economy so badly that I will likely never be able to pay off my fucking 150k in student loan debt. I work as a waiter, throwing away nearly 6oz of that 10oz filet mignon because I know that if I'm lucky, the chefs will save me a few vegetables that I can shovel in my mouth for dinner and save on grocery bills.

I don't work as a waiter because I enjoy standing 3 feet from your sorry ass for a 5 hour party, without breaks, on hard sole shoes! Who do you think actually likes doing that?

You're the CEO of a major corporation, and I'd expect that you were intelligent enough to not assume that everyone doesn't have higher aspirations and dreams. Not all waiters are actors and not all waiters do this because they love it. Ask me about my purchasing skills, or my negotiation skills...or about how I can still quote federal regulations in educational financing? Better yet, give your director of purchasing a week off and see if I can't do their job better than they can?

Until then...how about a nice cup of "Shut the fuck up!"

Oh...and yes...I'll be here in two weeks to wait on you for your board meeting.


***sigh....***

Patrick - 2:17 PM -

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