The Former Traveling Spotlight

The tales of a "30" something gay former stand-up comic living in NYC who is searching for his soul mate or soul...which ever comes first.





Thursday, February 28, 2008

Time Lines

12:01 AM I'm cleaning the puke of the drunk guy that puked on my bar while ordering yet another glass of champagne.

1:18 AM While riding the A-Train home, the woman nearest me squats between two seats and pees. Clearly, she has been eating asparagus.

3:00 AM Still tossing and turning, I finally give up and realize I will not be sleeping, and get up to read a book. Search for copy of War and Peace. Settle on Memoirs of a Geisha.

5:00 AM Leave apartment to go for a short 2 mile run hoping to burn off the 10 pounds the doctor informs me I've gained.

5:01 AM Return to my apartment shivering and deciding I'd rather stay fat.

6:15 AM At the local diner for breakfast, the server accidently serves my 2 over easy eggs, with a side of sliced tomatoes and toast onto my lap. Clothes covered in yellow goo...I go home to change.

9:00 AM After one hour and still being the only one in the office, I ponder why I didn't grab a breakfast at a different diner on the way. Try to figure a way out of working tonight, as I'm scheduled to work a dinner for 800.

So far...38 isn't all sunshine and roses.

I've not really been upset about turning 38 this year, but I do hate my birthday. For me, birthdays are a reminder of where I should be, and less a celebration about where I am.

Patrick - 11:37 AM -








Thursday, February 14, 2008

Singles Awareness Day

Every February 14th, what couples call "Valentine's Day", the coupled people run around purchasing roses, chocolates, and bottles of champagne to celebrate their so called "love" for each other.

Roses, chocolates, and champagne all just get laid? Screw that...I'll just head to the gym steam room and save the hundred bucks. But I do find that many of my single friends don't realize that today is not Valentine's Day, but actually it is Singles Awareness Day!

Singles Awareness Day (otherwise known as SAD) is held every February 14th as a way of identifying all other singles that are not coupled (or tripled) You can easily spot the singles on this day, at the grocery store purchasing ice cream and a bottle of vodka, or sitting alone in a fast food restaurant during the dinner hours, or in the video store renting the Bridges of Madison County and Titanic.

Singles are also located on this day at the top of tall buildings looking down over the edge to the ground, throwing themselves in front of moving subway trains, and even once in a while chained to heavy objects falling rapidly to the bottom of the Hudson River.

Singles truly are everywhere on Singles Awareness Day. Even in bars. You can easily find them intoxicated and making out with the first random person who stands close to them. Now if you excuse me...I hear a cosmopolitan calling my name.

Patrick - 1:54 PM -








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